Wednesday, September 09, 2009

The truth about Spinoza Ray Prozak

There's some debate as to who Spinoza Ray Prozak is in real life. Some claim he is another poster in the metal underground named Wilhelm; others claim he is a group of people making up random stuff to make fun of others. Still others suggest a single person is behind it all. This story satirizes the situation:



“I’m Prozak!”
A short story by Wilhelm (2009)
****

[Early Morning. Somewhere in a discreet New York subway station. A large aggregate boards the train. Train takes off. Silence inside. Dreary souls abound.]

[A man, face twisted with determination stands from his seat and confronts the aggregate. He shouts:]

Random person #1: I’m Prozak!

[Momentary silence. Then an obese woman, age undetermined, bounces off her seat and retorts:]

Random person #2: No…… I’M PROZAK!

[Young punk with green runners and bullring throws down his iPod and screams:]

Random person #3: Hey, fuck you bitch, I'M PROZAK and I have PROOF!

[The aggregate begins to seethe and suddenly the train erupts into disorder:]

Random person#4: I’m PROZAK!

Random person #5: No, I am!!!!

Random person #6: [knocks over elderly women on way to front of the aggregate] PROZAK?!?!?!!? Hey, THAT’S ME!!

Random person #7: [throws scalding hot coffee onto Random person # 6 who falls over into a screaming heap] Oh no you’re not! I’M PROZAK!!!!!!!!

[More chaos, fights erupt, scalding hot coffee flies this way and that.]

Persona al azar número 8: ¡Diablos! ¡Soy Prozak!!!!!!!!

[Train disappears into the darkness. Quite in the shaft. A rat scurries about; water drips from a rusted pipe in the distance.]

--

[….Meanwhile, many miles above earth in a NASA space shuttle]

Buzz #1: [floating out of cockpit] Hey Buzz #2, I just received a strange transmission from Earth.

Buzz #2: [back turned; smearing peanut butter on a piece of toast] Yes Buzz #1, what was the transmission?

Buzz #1: [Pauses] Well sir, uh, it was coming from New York….all I heard was something like “I am Prozak.”

Buzz #2: [Tenses; releases toast, bread drifts away]

Buzz #1: Sir, are you OK?

Buzz #2: IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!

Buzz #1: I don’t understand, sir. What is impossible?

Buzz #2: IMPOSSIBLE! [turns around, brushes curly auburn hair from face] IMPOSSIBLE…….I AM PROZAK!!!!!!!!!

Buzz #1: [Mouth agape.]

THE END

FMP


If you read the writings on that site, it's clear that it's more than one person, which explains why there's so much of it.

5 Comments:

At 5:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

We should all ask Prozak, was it all worth it? Was there any point to it?

 
At 5:41 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nope, this is you. Left out the last digit of your address. Don't worry the interview was a good laugh.

Sincerly Ritual guy!

260? Dunlavy St
Houston, TX 77006-3702

 
At 10:30 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Idiot.

 
At 7:51 PM , Anonymous Ego Death said...

TWILIGHT ZONE!!!

 
At 11:42 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meh it's one guy
used to have him on ICQ in the olden days
funny guy
now I will not say that there might not be some of the stuff posted at the site written by others but the usenet master troll was all one guy

 

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