This man goes from self-righteousness to groveling self-debasement in about four paragraphs:
We could never, however, drive an SUV, because they are unspeakably evil. I'm intimately familiar with liberal self-righteousness. I've been to the Unitarian Church. I've even flashed my own peacock feathers from time to time. I didn't eat meat in college, in part, I now think, just so I could say so.
My most recent major purchase prior to this car was actually an SUB, a sport utility bicycle, rigged out with massive panniers so I can haul everything from groceries to a 30-inch Weber grill around town without my car, thumbing my nose at the SUVs stuck in traffic. I ride my SUB to work every day -- and to the neighborhood farmers' market, where I buy locally grown produce. In the summer, I cook my curry-cream squash soup (am I turning you on, Volvo drivers?) in a solar oven.
Signing off on my new SUV (There. See? I wrote it) was a shock. But when I climbed into the high cockpit, the cushy seats had a surprisingly analgesic effect on my conscience. The quiet of the cabin at highway speeds was gentle on my ears. And the view is great from up there, way above the tiny little cars.
Here is the dirty little secret about SUVs: They're horrible for everyone except the guy in the passenger seat. Then they are great. And what a deal! Too bad SUVs are killing the planet.
Translation: I ride a bike and cook vegan goop in my solar oven so that I'm better than you. Until it's convenient and I need an SUV for, uh, the kids. And then I'm still better than you, because I can ironically admit it.
Can we admit now that secular humanism is Christian morality without the higher goal of God?
Can we admit now that secular humanism, liberalism, moralism, hipsterism, self-righteousness and egodrama are one and the same?