Welcome to the world of boomer grandparents -- where there are plenty of Glammas and Grandudes and Grampsters but hardly a Grandma or Grandpa or Gran to be found. My children have four living grandparents, but only one is called Grandpa. The other three have come up with cooler and hipper-sounding names for themselves. My sister's oldest christened my mother Noni, while my in-laws themselves came up with creative versions of their first names.
According to the AARP, baby boomers who have become grandparents are abandoning names like Poppa and Granny, which they say make them feel old. They plan to grandparent differently than their own parents did and want names that mirror a more active approach.
The Boston Globe
I get it now: they're a generation entirely made of hipsters, self-aggrandizing attention whores, drama queens and other people substituting external identity for having a soul. Having a soul requires giving a damn about something other than yourself, and they can't do it.
If we send them all to Somalia, politics and social life will stabilize. Beware that they're going to hang on into their 90s, all the while insisting on listening to the latest pop music and buying the latest trends, and they'll probably vote until advanced Alzheimers makes them so oblivious they will have achieved a perfectly equal, anonymous, progressive, pointless life.