Friday, September 18, 2009

Notice to websurfers




Five minutes of petting a cat is more relaxing, spiritually nourishing and reverent than anything you can do on the internet.

Not only do you gain a sense of peace from another organism, but you contribute to its welfare through affection and grooming. That's a truly reverent/sacral attitude toward life.

You may doubt this message... but until you've tried it, in your heart you won't know for sure.

1 Comments:

At 1:41 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

True, but this site for instance doesn't shed all over you, vomit protein-rancid balls of soggy halfdigested hair, leave its sex-secretions on your clothes and furniture with its fur, doesn't have brain-altering microbial parasites in the feces that you will have to clean up, doesn't bite or scratch you and leave you a horrendous infection, doesn't expect you to feed it, doesn't bring back rodents and birds it has killed but will not eat for you to dispose of, doesn't vomit fetid orange matter on your white berber carpet, doesn't wake you up with its crusted asshole leaving "pepper" on your face.

The best thing about this useless-to-everyone-save- the-long-dead-ancient-Egyptians childproxy species, is that unlike a unwanted child you can fuckin' stomp it to death. I like this blog, but I hate the internet, and I hate every swishy little feline on the burdened earth and their swishy little owners.

A reverence for life? By owning animals that actually own you? I have tried, mostly because my females panic over her fleeting supply of ova, somehow commanded her to rescue one, and me to care. How much "reverence for life" do all the deadbirds and wasted human time and energy that they could focus instead on self-improvement and their own offspring?

Affection? I used to get that from the woman sharing my dwelling, but not after I failed to bond with the animal she could not be bothered to take care of with only one part-time job. Any man would rather have a woman rub up on his leg while sipping a hot brandied cider than an animal with the scrunched face of a Down Syndrome troll.

Try it and I'll see the light? No. Sounds like a plea to "come unto Jeebuz" or something equally pathetic. You nurturing cat-lovers can drink the Koolaid, I for my part prefer my crow, Hagen. He can mimic human speech, knows 3 short phrases, "More whiskey", "Nevermore" (my fave), and "Hey Gorgeous", and brings me shiny objects, even wallets. Crows are about as social as cats, and at least as intelligent, but their poop stays outside...

 

Post a Comment

Subvert the dominant paradigm, don't be a solipsist.

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home