Things to do for 9/11:
* Take flying lessons, and learn to take off, but not land.
* Translate the Koran into Klingon.
* Calculate the amount of blood left on your sheets by 77 virgins.
* Draw up a new design for "Freedom Tower."
* Learn Arabic.
* Practice making IEDs in the garage.
* Monitor your own phone calls and emails for dangerous keywords.
* Scream "Allahu Ackbar!" at Republicans.
* Leave your ID in a Florida strip club.
* Tell people you'll only leave the house when the threat level is back to "Blue."
* Elect a wimpy pacifier of a President to guarantee future entertainment.
It's a great time for jihad. Since Michael Jackson kicked off, we've had no really important news other than the entitlement people fighting the wealth accumulation people. Maybe it's time for more fireworks? Start up those 747s, and let's have a blast!