Rules for Being a Modern Person
1. Something else is always to blame. Good targets: gods, systems of government, other demographics that oppress you.
2. It's all about you.
3. You must have something to contribute on every topic, and it must be ironic, unusual or a unique combination or you're not really that interesting.
4. Anything that requires actual commitment is bad and people who do it are tools.
5. The best state of the world is you in command of your kingdom, errr apartment or house, entertaining yourself with no obligations.
6. If something might challenge you, and you might end up looking stupid if you fail at it, make fun of it.
7. If something brings pleasure, that is a brilliant argument for it regardless of the consequences.
8. Anything that requires more than two steps should be either ignored, or you can hire Mexicans to do it.
9. If things don't go your way, throw a tantrum.
10. If everyone does the above, everything will become chaotic and moribund, and then you'll have zero accountability. Be an anarchist, support chaos, etc.
Some Dumb Board
If we're all dramatic, none of us will have to face reality. Let's make that deal, because none of us is the devil. Maybe all of us is.